Movies That Stayed With Me: Swingers

When I first watched Swingers, I felt like I was watching my own life on screen. Mikey wasn’t just a character—I was him. It probably didn't hurt that we shared a name. At that point in my life, I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere in either my career or in love.

I was working at a CD store where I was making $3.50 an hour and working to pay my way through community college. I had been dating one of my coworkers, which ended. Not necessarily badly, but it was my first real relationship and the hopeless romantic in me believed that was going to be the last one. It's funny the things you realize in hindsight.

Swingers entered at that point in my life and so much of it resonated with me.

A Moment of Clarity

The scene where Mikey finally hangs up on his ex. That moment blew me away. When Mikey hangs up and turns his attention to Lorraine, it was an epiphany. It was the hope I needed. There was light at the end of the tunnel. Not instantly, not the next week, but soon after, I met someone new. There was a spark. And just like that, the ember I'd been holding for my ex finally went out.

Who's Watching?

The scene where Mikey makes multiple phone calls felt too close to home. I didn’t make that many calls, but I didn’t know when to let it go. I'd leave a message, and if I didn’t hear back in a couple of days, I'd call again. This went for my ex along with anyone who gave me their phone number.

I'd tell myself they forgot or got busy—anything but the truth. Nobody used the word ghosted back then. We didn’t have a word for it. They just didn’t respond, and I was left wondering what happened.

The Pep Talk

You’re So Money

The DVD is one of the few that I kept from my original collection. The blu-ray steelbok is a recent addition to my physical media collection.

It probably seems obvious if you've gotten this far, but I lacked confidence as a young man. So when Trent gives Mikey the speech about being “money” and convinces him to talk to a girl, I felt like he was talking to me.

When I left the CD store, I started work at a physical therapy office as an Administrative Assistant. It was a whole new world. Instead of teenagers and the under-21 crowd, I was meeting people in their early-to-mid 20s. I grew fond of the Admin Assistant in the office next to mine. We'd chat in the hallway, and every now and again, she'd pop into the office to ask the physical therapist a question. Many times, she'd chat with me for a bit afterward. We shared some interests, so I was smitten ... it didn't take much for me at the time.

I distinctly remember giving myself Trent's pep talk—word for word—before opening the door to the office next to mine to ask out the girl I’d been talking to in the hallway. It worked. She said yes, and we went out a few times.

Right Movie. Right Time

So much of this movie's nostaglia and why it has stayed with me is built upon the time it entered my life. Granted, there was probably a good 10-year period in which I could have seen this and would have loved it just as much, but the timing was perfect.